There are a lot of factors to consider going into the big decision of moving in with your significant other. This is a huge step for your relationship so first of all, congratulations! I’m writing this blog post because I thought it would be useful for other couples who are thinking about moving in together.
First things first, check in with yourself and your intuition. Does this feel right? Do I want to do this? Obviously if you know the answer isn’t yes, don’t do it! When Brad and I lived in LA he asked me if I wanted to move in and I wasn’t ready then but knew I wanted to down the line. Alas, here we are now! I’m glad I waited until I was 100% certain and timing worked out perfectly for us. Listen to your heart!
Being nervous about it is perfectly normal, especially if you haven’t lived with your significant other before. This is a giant step in your relationship! Personally, I was really nervous. Not so much about the actual move itself but the idea of not feeling independent. From a conversation with Brad, I realized I’m not losing my independence. He was very accommodating and in the guest room I have a reading nook if I want to be alone; it’s something that feels like my space. Also, when Brad was designing the house, he included a deep bath tub and a fire place which wasn’t at our old spaces but I’ve always dreamed of having. I know- a serious Notebook moment. You don’t lose your independence when you move in together. I still have my activities, hobbies, friends, and a bit of my own space.
Does your idea of your future relationship align with your significant other’s idea? Talk about an awkward conversation to have before moving in but it’s 100% necessary. You don’t want to be in a position where you want kids and you find out 5 years later that your SO doesn’t. Be open and communicate what you want in the future! If your futures don’t align, rethink moving. How important is marriage and/or a family to you? Communication is key so you don’t get stuck in a situation down the line.
Are you moving in because the price is right? This is SO important- do not move in with someone just because you will be saving money. This seems like a recipe for disaster. I understand there are situations where you both need to save but if it’s only for money, it’s a bad idea. Also, talking about income with anyone is uncomfortable but I highly suggest it so that you don’t gain resentment down the line. Brad and I talked finances and made a decision on how we’ll divvy up bills, etc., that felt fair to both of us. I never wanted to get into the feeling of “I pay xxx for this and he doesn’t pay xxx for that”. Talk to each other and find a balance that works for you.
Which chores do you prefer? If you’re lucky to have a maid, please skip this sugar mama. Brad and I fit nicely into our chores. We didn’t talk about it but I do suggest you do. I take care of the dogs (taking them to work, walking them, feeding them, bathing them, taking them out, etc.) and laundry. Brad takes care of anything food related (cooking, cleaning dishes, etc.) Again, find a balance that works for you two and set expectations before it becomes an issue.
I know, I know the conversations are somewhat uncomfortable but your future self will be thanking you! Again, communication is key in any relationship. If you have any questions/want to talk/etc please feel free to email me, DM me, comment- here to help!